well , it makes me feel new, it makes me feel ...reborn...
well i did else during hollydays, well first i broke up with my boyfriend, yes that man is gone , but situation is too complicated , nothing can explain it simply in f
ew words, well from the other side i created otehr troubles... you can't image how simple is to fall again in troubles ... just for a kiss...
i met after a lot of time a boy that i was working... i was speaking with since many months ...we met ... he was so cold and so ...girlish ,coz he was pulling me to do all ...he felt cool , yeha !! THAT S WHAT HE DID , at last i was spekaing , i was showing my self as i am ,a dn he was i dnt know.. maybe lying , maybe nothign of what he todl was true... well thsi happens to feel hard desires for an addict , well u can image hwo he was , tall and thin to fade , black hair and brown eyes ...not so cute as i say always , not so cute like my ex boyfrind, but w
hen i find someone liek him i recognise , the kind of mine , he s my kind , image a boy that looks like, bastard and wild , yea, the kind of man tht humanity is losing in these years ... well i dnt knwo how much he s bastard, but i learned something about addicts , and , yeassss i coudl lea
rn this hearing my brother who was saying that this kind of boy is untrustable ... well , ilearne dit on my skin ... THIS KIND OF BOY IS UNTRUSTABLE , he told he has done , he closed with all that shit ...maybe its true , but i know i cant trust him , well on afternoon when we met frist , i foudn him really avalaible to me , and to hear me , to speak , interested in me...well just the time to arrive to night , we met in local , i drunk and i ruined all , i showed him the worst selene he could ever meet.. ahahaha , he sent him a message about where i was, and he came , don 't knwo why , for this i say he was interested .. and here the story starts:
he came to me , and asked me " with who are you" , and i told with my friends , and i listed them , i touched her sides as embracing him ,and he liked , he holded me too , then i went away , we divided, then we met later and that time i didnt let h
im anymore.. we moved outside and inside the local , we spoke , we joked, but guys... when a woman si drunk there s nothing to hold her...at last my friends went away and my brother before leaving told to my dear friend luciana " if you can't bring selene , tell her to call me , never come back to home with that boy , never go in car with that boy!" well , at last i did such , but this comes later ... in the mean while , talking talking , we arrived at 03.00 a.m and i had a train to take at 07.00 , well so i was so anxious , coz i didnt want to go away , then he took me my hand and i brought me in a park beside night club , it was all dark , with grass under our feet and yesss, in the moment i felt so scared of him , this places makes
me scared , then i floowed him teh same , he tols me so , lets go inside , and i told ," no!! i want stay here", i hold him and i touch direclty hsi lips... with my lips , what a kiss!!!!!! m
mmmmm
the kiss , the lips i wished for many months , now were mine , i never had a succes big like this... i mean , of course i kissed other boys and even else ... but this time , it was somethign i planned for a lot of time , and at last .. i was in a dark park under the moon , in a cold night surrounded by a frost wind kissing his hot lips ..i don't remind anymore his kiss , it is totally gone ...it was nothign special , and this is sad, but i remind his PHALLUS!! yeees, he answere dgood to my kiss, and to my touch , he gave a positive response ahahha ..
i didn't enter inside of his trousers, but i care so much to do it still ... well thi s just the good part of the night , after a wihile , he brought me in a corner and he told me , " sele , i have to tell yousomehting , please hear me , i am serious :don't fall i
n love with me!" AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH THIS WAS MY ANSWER....
i was smilign so much tht i falled down with my head , i told what=????
he told " pleasee dnt feel to love me , im not joking AHAHAHAHAHAHAH
OHH YEASS REPEAT IT AGAIN .. PLEASEEE i never laughed like this ...i am just romantic , i like to make it sensuale , to kiss passionally , to confuse it b
oy ... between passion and love there s an ocean . .. well , nothign else concluded ...i just can say , idnt want any kind of hard and serious story with him , i just wanted sex , do you know this word??? sex man!!!
i dnt want love and i dnt wnat bullshits.. but he told enough bullshits....i remidn still his neck .. it was red , i dnt knwo how much i bit it tht night ...
i am not a gently lover , i like to bit , and to hurt ... may he was virgin??!
dunno ! i know just he offended me time later , when he told me that , it can be a gooood freindship between us, friendship???? keep friendship for your self, you cna't give to me a hting so hard and so deep as friendship , you offended me , speaking such us about friendship , buy the way , the real problme it was , , first ) if you don't mind t
o have sex with me , tell it direclty , second) if you don't search me , it s clear you don't car
e a fuck , third) if i send you cheers for your bday it would be nice if you answer , and forth) you'r cute k i want f***k you , and i hope u didn't have misunderstandment... well a simple kiss ... now after a lot of months passed studying , yesterday at last i went out with a friend , and i told her all teh story , i asked her to be honest to me , if she thinks it was a bullshit, and she told me direclty fuck up this man , he doesnt deserve me , he doenst care of me.. and surely she s right , he joked to me he played with me , 'cause i gave many opportunities to clear my mind, but he never did it ... this s not a correct behaviour ,, so i am sorry for you babe , you have lost all this piece of woman !!!!
rest of stoyr you all know!! how coudl i fall for a man li
ke this, the thinsg that annoyies me , is in the fact that i didnt understand it when it was the right moment ... greaat kiss..
ahahah i am still thiking that ... ahhha yes ok!! maybe i am not so honest about this , maybe he let a print to me , but these s teh kind of thing must be suppressed ... i dnt have space , im filled of business and work , and i can't hurt my self ,twice , well , my first st . valentine alone ... how it feels'?? how is it?? hwo can unimportant thing can be the hardest to stand??? imean i can stand loneliness , i can stand hard diets and physical effort , but
no idea about how to stand those little things , like st.valentine... i dnt want to be a loser , i dnt wnat to be a weak , coz i am not , nor for a man , nor for 2...
thinspo pursuit keeps on ...starve on !!
i changed again my diet , in soon it will start to work good , im eating just vegetavles cheese and one kind of biscuits, everyday i choose a veggy between spinach or salad ... ( i can choose between 5 different types of sald) , , cheese only feta ( greek one) , and sweet just biscuits bucaneve , and then of corse ltrs and ltrs of teaaa ..hot one , sugar free...
ok , i deleted feta too , in reality i decided i woudl eat just o
n saturday feat ,and since tomorrow ill start to count back calories... in reality i think that , when u have a diet , count calories makes u mad earlier , i mean is that thing
wich fucks your mind ... first of all other things ...i will start to do all , coz i have a potential in my body , and in my will , so need to take it outside ...
tomorow i start to note weight and keep weight check , night a
nd morning , it will be hard , it will be disappointing so much, mostly tonight probably , coz i feel my weight changes just with my body , so i knwo what i have to expect ,
