A lot of time has passed, and i am back now, i noticed after many adventures, that i closed myself in a gold cage, times are not going good,in this golden cage i don
t let anyone to access, i cant find people i feel good with, noone deserves to enter in this cage, and i guess most of peaople nor cares of it, despite this there was one girl in this time, always bringing me diets, but i don't want to share diet tips with her, i don't want to know everyday if her trousers are lar
ger on her, or tight, i dont care a fucking s**t. i speka wiht girls at faculty , a
nd i have found many of them more interesting of what i was thinking, despite this i am always there closed in my cage, and i am smily , ohh yea, i speka so weel , so gently , i masked and covered my south stress in speaking, my south dialect, now i am liek them, a northern girl , nothign can trick me now, i am gentle like them , i dont speak loudy anymore, and yess!! i speka with many girls, im smily and so fake.. this means masking, this means pretending, its easy to do ,and i do it so well , but the only person is gettin' ruined like this its me.
so u know , i cant stay beside short peolple, they make me feel an enormous girl , just coz i am tall , even if i am thinner of SOME of them , ( just few) , i cant stand short ones, they make me feel a monster, and most of girls of this age are short, may i ne
ed to meet a swedish??!
it s not coz i dont liek short ppl , but its how they make me feel to be, or to appear, if i am beside a short girl , noone will notice if my bones are coming outsi
de, of if my belly si flat, coz my bones are big, my legs are longer than them , and i am the best beside the short ,cute -1 meter- girl!!
anyway , some good happened too , but were just in my imagination , or in my dream , so we can pass them by...for exmaple tonight i dreamed the perfect orgasm..how coudl I dream an orgasm still don't know, i don't know nor if it does exsist..an orgasm like this...but let's return to reality,orgasms for the moment, are in a far planet for me, isnt the right time to think it, by the moment is officially friday , and i swear every friday , that nothing will ruin my week-end, moslty coz' tomorrow it s goign to be a great day , ill make blac
k hair, and maybe streight,. i don't know... but in any way ,
nothing wll ruin my week-end , nor the fact thst i didn
t study today...this time it won't fuck me...
well i must say it, after writing some words, i feel happier and i see it clearly, situation isnt so hurry as it seems, tomorrow will a splendid day, and i am gogn to get thin. i ll get thin, to fade...
about dieting, the past week , i terrible falled in love for a fucking addicted man, tht is 10 years older, and that is living far.. but i never meant to have a story with him , just for running caprices. i wanted speak with him , speka about blood and about love, just to be poetic...
i wanted hrear from him tht he likes me.. and than go away and keep to study ... but while chatting we didnt reach this point...i got before tht there
s nothing to do .. it was just a caprice, not love..pfffand caprices sometimes explode as love, and i remind still the days of that weak ,i felt no hunger for all the week , i felt sick and tired, too tired to eat, i wanted just fade away , with the caprice that was exploded inside of me..love and caprices make you thinner,
today i ate.. but then i got it was so much , so
i vomited than i
t was too much empty... even if ti s NEVER TOO MUCH EMPTY, so i ate a cup of vegetable soup, now i feel im done, the food is gone for today , i dnt feel eating, and if i dnt pass dinne
r by , i think really that tomorrow i ll have a good surprise, i feel hilarious to think of it...
keep starving.. i must be honest, in this time a lot of thinspo helped me... i know it s so silly to reduce our selves to this point... its seems silly , it seems va
in and when i started i didnt get is fastly , i got it just with time, that i settles a life belonging to stupid images, i wish to be the thinspo of my self,to see my bones everyday , and ask to my self, why u bones are so alone''? WE need to save the others too, we need to bring them to light too... and so me and my bones, we go to save other bones, from this ocean of flesh and skin,i wish so much to see the bones of my face, to see them clearly , to see the fuckign bones of my legs, ahh the they i ll meet them ... i still dream it...they day nothing more will remain of me...j
ust my bones, and my brain , muscles, skin , and other things, i wish them to leave us forever in peace... it sounds disturbed told like this...it sounds too insane, maybe,let s consider it as a helloween thinspo present, coz THIS halloween , we won't mask of skeleton , WE WILL BE THE SKELETONS...
and then when ill go back to the south , to my all city , n
oone will recognise me, and when he will see me, ill just turn my shoulders , and show him my fuc
king bones....
